


Stout Ninja Train

by keztion



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: M/M, Polygrumps, razzabrian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-05-28 02:23:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6311368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keztion/pseuds/keztion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry briefly stops in to say hi to Brian during Stout Train.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Lovelies! After watching Stout Train this year I had a little plot bunny running around. Barry is drunk and Brian can sometimes be a gentleman.  
> Any and all comments are appreciated!

Professor Brian Wecht, PhD. does not tend to find himself with a lap full of person.  
Now, sometimes he’ll sit Audrey in his lap, commentating on the world around them and getting her to point out people and objects. Her vocabulary is always growing, and he couldn’t be prouder.

Right now, he does not have a lap full of Audrey. Right now he has a lap full of a very drunk Barry.  
Barry was mumbling into his shoulder presently. With a huff of impatience, Brian lightly pushed the younger man back.

“What was that Barry?”  
“M’said that we should do Ninja Stout Train! Hmm…”   
Barry pulled back further and swung his leg up and over the piano bench on the other side, straddling the bemused physicist. He poked Brian’s stomach lightly and grinned broadly at the grunt of indignation.

“Or Stout Ninja Train! C’mon, you should join us for filming! Jack taught us a fun drinking song and I wanna hear you try and sing it monotone while glaring at Ross! We could try’n choke him with Guinness!”  
Brian leaned back, swinging his headphones off of his neck and resting them on the piano.

“Barry. While your elaborate murder scheme is pretty clever; and I would know, I have a PhD, I’m trying to get some song writing done right now”

The part time ninja adjusted the drunk man so that his weight was more on his thighs and less on his groin,  
“Aren’t you one of the main stars tonight Bar? Can’t leave them for too long”

It was a clear dismissal, but Barry shrugged it off with a pout and stayed silent. As the silence stretched between them Barry’s pout became progressively more large and comical. He let out a huff and crossed his arms, no longer meeting Brian’s eyes.

“Baby Bar, you’re being worse that Audrey right now, and she’s two.”  
Barry looked back to see Brian’s eyes glittering in amusement and let out another huff.  
“But Daddy, how can I be good when you’re not going to play with me?”  
The whining, begging tone was mostly a joke but Barry couldn’t help but notice the way Brian bit his lip when he was called Daddy.

Guinness and an evening of laughter made him bold, and Barry scooted forward and circled his arms around Brian’s neck. He leaned into Brian’s neck and nuzzled into the side,  
“Pleeease come play with me, Daddy?”

He was rewarded with a tight grip on his hip bones and a shuddering intake of breath.  
“Barry, on a scale of Noice to Not Noice, this is getting way too real and”,  
He gently guided Barry off his lap to sit on the piano bench before rubbing his eyes and taking a large breath.  
“And, you are way too drunk. Go back and play, the boys will be waiting for you”

Barry looked like he was going to continue pushing, but Ross’ voice echoed from the recording room calling his name.  
Regardless of the liquor clouding his brain, Barry felt like something still hadn’t been said. Or that it was missing. That leaving right now was going to make things bad later.  
Brian was looking down, looking like he was starting to zone out in the expectation that Barry was about to leave.  
“Bri?”  
As the physicist turned, Barry leaned in and pecked him lightly on the lips. He started to rise up, but two strong hands grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him back down to Brian’s mouth with such force that their teeth clicked together. It was a brutally short kiss, and Brian pushed him away with almost as much force as he had brought them together.

Later, he would call it impulse and alcohol. For now, it had just felt like a Really Important Thing He Should Do. Without a word Barry stood and left the room, closing the door behind him with an elated little smile on his face.

The others didn’t ask where he had gone, and soon he was joking and singing with the rest of them. None of them noticed as Brian slipped out of the Grump Space later on. 

The ninja had some thinking to do.


	2. Sleepless Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very very short, just churning over how Brian would react to the last chapter.
> 
> P.S. In this Brian and Rachel are in an open relationship. Seriously, it is just easier this way.

It was 4am and Brian was still awake. It had been like this for the last few days, since he and Barry had kissed. The pair had deliberately avoided being alone in the same room together, apparently both content to not deal with their Stout Train kiss.

 

“For God’s sake Brian, if it’s bothering you that much go talk to him”   
His wife’s tired voice slurred next to him, she had a hard time sleeping if anyone else was awake. She blamed it on her mom instincts. The first time she had used those words Brian had succinctly explained that she couldn’t have mom instincts until she was an actual mom and, well, she had kissed him before he could use the PhD line and get himself into more trouble.

 

Brian had been lying completely still, breathing slowly. Honestly, the ninja had hoped he could fool his wife.   
He could never fool Rachel.

 

Turning on his side, he faced what he assumed was her back. The room was blessedly dark, because he wasn’t sure how composed he would look after days of sleep deprivation.   
“Babe, I don’t want to fuck this up, we literally just got to America and what the hell happens when Barry doesn’t want to work we me because I’m the lecherous old guy who took advantage while he was drunk?”

  
The resounding groan that followed made it clear what his wife thought of his worry,   
“I know, you’ve said that ten different times and ten different ways. Look how Arin, Suzy and Danny are. Do you really think that your boss is going to frown on consenting adults doing consenting things?”

He stayed silent. What she said made sense, and his logical side knew that. She had made sense the last few nights, when they had said almost the same words back and forth. It didn’t stop him being worried.   
It didn’t stop the fact that he also really wanted to explore Barry further.

 

For all the dick jokes and shit he pulled with Danny, Brian didn’t have much of a history with Barry. Sure, they had spent some time together now between Grumpcade and being around the office together, but it really wasn’t enough for him to feel confident.

Not that the grumps would ever know that. When in doubt, dazzle them with brilliance. In case of brilliance not working, which was rarely the case with Barry, baffle them with bullshit.   
Seriously though, the guy picked up on the physics that Brian laid down and he always seemed legitimately excited to learn tidbits from the ninja.

“Honey, I love you, but if you do not sit down and talk to that man then I  _ will _ invite him over to dinner and it  _ will _ be awkward”

Her voice sounded more awake and bordering on actually annoyed. Brian cringed slightly, he had been keeping her up with him and she was making it clear an awkward dinner of relationship discussion would be his penance if it didn’t end soon.  
  
“Fair enough Rache, I’ll deal with it”

He obligingly opened his arms as Rachel shifted back into him and he curled around her.   
  
A few moments of silence, then:

 

“Okay, but what if-”

“I will bite you, Brian”

“Sorry”

  
  
  



	3. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian bites the bullet and broaches brunch with Barry.
> 
> Okay it's more like lunch, but the alliteration was fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've tried to make it very clear when the characters are texting and when they aren't, but just in case, the lines of text that are in Italics are text messages.

Morning came too early, as it always does when you don’t fall asleep until five in the morning.

The Wecht family rose and got ready for the day, Rachel helping Audrey get dressed and fed while Brian showered and stolidly did not shave. He was curious about how his beard would make him look now.

He suspected the answer would be ‘older’, but theory only became theorem when proof was presented.

Rachel had rubbed at his cheek and simply smirked when he had defended himself against her sceptical look.

Audrey gurgled and pointed to things out the window as Brian drove her to daycare. He happily agreed with most of what she said, and coached her through her dinosaur words again.

It would be seriously cool when she was older and more comfortable around Danny, he suspected they would jam about stegosauruses forever if allowed.

Once Audrey had been dropped off, happily waving goodbye before letting out a loud “rawr!” and running towards her friends with her arms curled up like a T-rex, Brian headed to work.

He was ignoring the pit in his stomach, sternly repeating Rachel’s words to himself.  
Barry had initiated and Brian had firmly made sure not to go any further than a kiss because the editor had been drunk. It was exactly the right thing to do.   
Hell, his wife has said she was _proud_ that he hadn’t done anything more. He had responded by tossing a pillow at her and informing her she was besmirching his honor with such a comment.

Unsurprisingly, this didn’t remove the knot in his stomach.

 

He waved silently to the greetings various people tossed his way as he entered the Grump space. He and Suzy were meant to do some recording for Grumpcade later today, but for now he had a few hours while she worked on her taxidermy.

Which meant he had a few hours to figure out how to get Barry alone. Brian sat down and smoothly took out his laptop and set his stuff up for some music editing. He put some coffee in to brew in the Grumps keurig, grabbing a mug with Marvin the Martian on it.

“Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth shattering kaboom!”

Danny’s smile was broad as Brian gave him a sideways glance.

“Those vocal lessons are paying off, Sexbang. I almost expected to see a little Martian with a Centurian helmet standing next to me”

Dan chortled and pulled out his phone, pointing the camera towards himself and did the impression again.

“Got the Grump instagram account for today?”  
“You know it Bri! Gotta impress the Lovelies with my smooth voice”   
“Oh yeah, Copernicus’ theory of Gravity, where panties _will_ drop in the presence of Looney Toons references”, Brian deadpanned

Danny just giggled and nudged Brian’s shoulder before grabbing a bottle of water and heading to the recording room.

  
Finally, coffee in hand and feeling much more relaxed, Brian sat down at his computer. The short interaction with his bandmate had given him an idea. He pulled his phone out, made sure to turn it on vibrate, and sent a text to Barry.

Yeah, it was still pretty cowardly, given that the editor was at his desk and starting his own work. Brian busied himself as he heard Barry’s phone go off, keeping him in his peripheral vision.

_So, on a scale of noice to not noice, are we okay? Can we talk sometime today?_

The ninja stayed looking at his computer and sipping at his coffee, refusing to meet Barry’s eyes. He could feel the other man looking at him, but he was trying to play this cool.

His phone vibrated on the table next to him.  
He had to remind himself to play it cool, because his first instinct was to pounce on the damn thing. Instead he casually grabbed it and unlocked it while still looking at his computer. His eyes flicked to the phone screen:

_Should probably talk and be adults, lunch?_

It wasn’t a full answer, in fact, of the two questions Brian had asked, it only barely answered the second one.  
Fuck.  
Still, he tapped out his reply at then put his phone back down.

_I’ll drive, you decide where we go_

 

The pair left the grump space around noon, Barry leaving his computer open so the rest of the grumps could order lunch when they got hungry. They didn’t speak until they were in Brian’s car with the AC running.   
“So where to-”   
“We really kissed, for real, right?”

Brian paused and looked at the other man, whose wide eyes looked more than a little panicked.

He swallowed and nodded,   
“Yes Bar, we really kissed, for realsies”

Barry groaned and slumped in the passenger seat. Brian was fairly sure he heard the other man swear and he tried fairly hard to ignore the part of his brain that wished he could make Barry groan and swear in other ways.

“Jeez Barry, you’re hurting my feelings here” he commented wryly as he pulled out of the driveway. If Barry didn’t supply a lunch place, they were going to Dairy Queen. It was too damn hot to not get something frozen.

“No! I just, I’m sorry Brian, you’re married and I was drunk and I know I totally went too far and you don’t even  _ like _ guys and you have a kid and”

“Gonna have to stop you right there Bar, because I’d like to correct you on a few things”

He looked at his passenger out of the corner of his eye, Barry was still slouched in his seat but at least now he was looking at him.   
“Numero uno, I  _ am _ married, but Rachel and I have been in an open relationship for literally longer than you’ve been allowed to drink”

Brian smirked at the noise of indignation Barry made,   
“Numero duce, you  _ were _ drunk  _ but _ we didn’t go too far and” he paused as he signaled and moved over a lane,   
“Three, I don’t like a lot of guys, but I definitely like you”

He ticked off the different things and nodded to himself, satisfied. Now Rachel couldn’t demand an awkward dinner.

Depending on how the rest of the conversation went, it might just be a regular dinner.

He quickly snuck another glance at Barry, whose mouth was opening and closing with various expressions of confusion moving along his face.   
He had to focus back on the road, but the minutes of silence stretched as he made his way towards ice cream.

“Now, it’s not like I totally just put my feelings on the line or anything, but your stunned silence is totally killing my feels boner right now Bar”

If he had a spare hand, he would have facepalmed hard enough to leave a mark. ‘Feels boner??’ His brain demanded.

“S-so… Rachel knows? She’s not going to tear my balls off? And you’re not mad?”

Barry’s voice was still high with panic, but there was a tinge of hope to it.

“Not even a little bit mad, and neither is Rachel. Well, okay, she was going to be mad if I kept her up another night worrying that I had offended you… but your jibbly bits were never in peril Bar”

Brian pulled into the parking lot and took off his seatbelt, finally able to turn and look at the other man properly.

“You thought I was mad?” He asked quietly

“You wouldn’t even  _ look _ at me, dude, I thought I had totally messed up!”   
  
“Bro, I thought  _ I _ had totally messed up. I couldn’t help it! You were being all cute and teasing, then you called me ‘Daddy’ and, not gonna lie, I was ready for some sloppy makeouts right there”

  
Barry chuckled, finally cracking a smile, “So you  _ do  _ have a daddy kink, Kevin totally owes me five bucks”   
  
Brian’s voice was pure monotone, “I am so glad I am able to be a source of profit to you, Mr. Kramer” he slid forward and tipped the younger man’s chin up, “and how, exactly, are you going to tell him you found out?”   
He purred out the second part of the sentence, enjoying the way Barry audibly gulped. The younger man let out a shaky exhale before moving forward and putting his mouth by Brian’s ear.

“Maybe you should tell me what to say, Daddy, just to make sure I’m being good”

Oh, now that was just unfair. Now he was going to end up going into Dairy Queen at half mast.

Brian let out a frustrated growl before lightly pushing the younger man back,    
“You are so buying my ice cream for that”

 

 


	4. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As an insomniac this is basically just some weird form of what I wish someone would do for me.
> 
> But hey, Barry is also an insomniac and Brian has great skill in enforcing naps.
> 
> At this point I don't even know how to continue this story. I'm sort of intimidated by the number of people who have read this and I'm sorry to disappoint you all. For now it's just going to be whatever strikes my fancy. There isn't going to be conflict or drama, this is where I go to write things that make me happy.
> 
> So expect fluff, and maybe smut, but there will be a substantial lack of plot. Probably forever.

Barry idly picked at a stitch on his shirt cuff.

He was supposed to be doing something, anything at all. He had managed to do a bit of video editing in the morning, but the caffeine was wearing off and he was ready for a nap. Hell, he was ready for a decent night’s sleep.

A hand gently grabbed Barry’s shoulder and spun his chair around.  
Bloodshot eyes, hidden behind Gunnar glasses, slowly registered that Barry was no longer facing his computer monitor and he rose his head to meet Arin’s concerned gaze.  
  
“Hey dude, you alright? Been sitting there staring at rad band kittens for the last ten minutes”  
His friend’s smile was gentle and Barry was quietly glad he didn’t have a normal job where his boss would bust his ass for lagging on company time.  
  
“Sorry dude, just haven’t had much sleep lately, but it’s cool. I’ll just grab some more coffee and be swell”

 Arin shrugged and exclaimed a loud “Whatever dude!” before heading towards the recording room. Barry smiled tiredly as he spun back to his computer screen, hearing Arin’s announcer voice:  
  
“Calling one Sexy Kitten to the recording room, Sexy Kitten to the recording room”

Barry scrubbed a hand over his face and twitched his mouse to stop the band of cats from marching along his screen. Insomnia sucked, trying to be productive while sleep deprived sucked more. He idly considered putting a motion forward to buy a pull out bed for emergency naps during the next meeting before hustling down to get more work done.

Time crawled.

He fought with Photoshop to make some changes to thumbnails that would make great gags for some upcoming episodes.  
He fought with his video editor to compile the video segments properly. He fought with his letter ‘e’ key, which kept stuck because of some errant soda that had landed on his keyboard.  
He swore quietly as he realized his phone charger had been unplugged for some reason and he had to get down in the grunge behind his desk to get it situated again. His coffee was cold, his eyes itched and the world was steadily doing its best to drive one Barry Kramer insane.  
By the time he had finally managed to splice up and queue the next line of videos to go up he felt like a literal age had passed.   
How was he not hungry by now?  
  
Oh, because it had been thirty seven minutes since he had spoken to Arin.

Fuck.

Barry let out a pitiful groan and slumped onto his desk. Maybe he could just sleep right here? Sure, his back would hurt and he wouldn’t be rested, but then he could at least try to get something done afterwards.

His desperate thoughts were interrupted by blunt fingers trailing over the back of his neck. Barry’s shoulders slumped further as he felt his neck muscles relax. It took everything in his power, and a sudden reminder that he wasn’t alone in the office, to hold back a whimper.

“Sleep with me, Obi-wan, you’re my only hope”

What?

Barry rose with a groan and gave Brian a disgruntled look. The other man had an amused gleam in his eyes, though his face was deadly serious.

“Pretty sure that’s not how it goes, and you don’t have enough hair Leia”, the younger man groused, getting ready to sit back down and ignore the Ninja’s taunt.  
He was stopped by Brian gently taking his hand and leading him towards the exit of the office.

“Number one, I am deeply insulted, General Organa wishes she could grow a beard this magnificent”, Brian continued towards the door and then stopped to step closer to Barry.  
  
“Second, you are absolutely wasting time by being here right now. You’re going to burn yourself out, so go home and rest”

On impulse Barry reached forward to brush against Brian’s sides and play with the edges of his lapels, he knew he was whining but at this point the exhaustion made him feel almost delirious.  
“Can’t rest, haven’t slept properly in days Brian! What am I supposed to do, just ignore all the work that needs to get done and just-”

A light peck on his lips made him go quiet and Brian smirked,  
“Yes, Bar, and that wasn’t a request earlier. I’m taking you home and we’re gonna sleep”

Barry raised an amused eyebrow, the pair hadn't gone far beyond what Brian happily called 'sloppy make outs'. If 'falling asleep' and 'helping with insomnia' were some sort of strange, fifth dimensional bases that he wasn't aware of, he certainly wasn't going to complain. His silence was taken for acquiescence and Brian led him out to the physicist's car.

* * *

 

Brian toed off his shoes at the door and followed Barry to his room. The younger man closed his blinds and stood on what he considered to be his side of the bed. Granted, it was Barry’s bed, every side was his side.

Except for the underside, that was for the dust bunnies.

“I know this is a bit ridiculous, but I’ve never done this with anyone before”,  
Barry tried to keep his voice light, but he really wasn’t sure what to do here. Brian hadn’t made any moves besides taking him home and, as of this moment, start pulling the covers down so that he could get into bed.

The older man paused,  
“I can go if you’d like, but you really need to try to rest Bar, even if you don’t sleep”  
  
Barry shrugged and then shook his head, grabbing a pair of sleep pants and shucking his jeans without preamble. He glanced over at Brian and offered a pair to him, wondering if the older man thought he was going to get into his bed still wearing jeans.  
  
Hell would sooner start accepting adorable band kittens.

They lay side by side, the silence palpable. Barry was ready to get up and announce this was ridiculous when Brian turned on his side and ran a hand along Barry’s collarbones.  
“I don’t normally do the spoon thing, but if it will help?” the older man trailed off, and finally Barry got the feeling that Brian was in strange waters as well.  
  
“I’m usually on my front, I guess, but maybe just... I dunno man” Barry turned onto his stomach and then nuzzled towards Brian’s chest.  
  
Brian thought he caught the grumbled sentence into his shirt, but he still carded his hand through Barry’s hair before tightening his grip and pulling the younger man back.  
  
“What was that Bar?”  
  
He was gratified with the short inhale and fluttering of eyelids at his rough tug. That tidbit was filed away for ‘Inevitable badass seduction of Barry’s ass- working title, not final’. Maybe ‘Project: Seduce’ would be better?  
He shook his head and focused back in on Barry, who was quietly mumbling that no one had tried to just sleep with him before.  
  
Brian started tracing his fingers over Barry’s back, eliciting another slump and whine combination that he had seen at the office. Instead of relenting or trying to carry on more conversation, Brian just continued rubbing his bedmate’s back and relishing his reactions. Slowly, ever so slowly, Barry’s breath evened out and his body occasionally started to twitch in sleep.  
  
Good ol’brain, making sure Barry wasn’t dying by checking muscle reactions. Brian smiled softly and gently rolled over and grabbed his phone from where his jeans lay on the floor. He sent Rachel a quick text letting her know that Dan was picking her and Audrey up and that he would be late for supper.

Once that was done he texted Dan informing him that he was picking up ninja Audrey and Rachel at five o’clock, on the dot, or there would be consequences. His phone buzzed with Dan’s reply first, his consent with lots of winky faces. Brian rolled his eyes before anxiously reading Rachel’s reply which was- God dammit, also an affirmation with lots of winky faces.

The pair of them talked about him behind his back, he knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've one hundred percent lost my drive for writing at this point, so please don't expect regular updates or updates with any substance.
> 
> I'm sorry if this disappoints people, just major writer's block and real life stuff has made it really hard to want to write anything.
> 
> At the same time, any criticism is appreciated and will be read!


End file.
